A Mother's Letter
A MOTHER’S LETTERDear Son,
Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you come home, we’ve moved.
About your father, he has got a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him, he cuts grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning I haven't found out whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.
Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.
It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days. We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.
Your loving Mum
P.S. I was going to send you five pounds but I have already sealed the envelope.
I hope you enjoy this post. I plan to share more Irish humor in my posts. Stay tuned.